Strategies, Hints, and Tips for Revising and Editing Essays

Revision can seem like a daunting task. After all, how can a student be expected to find, understand, and correct a paper's errors when that student made the errors in the first place? It's understandably frustrating. However, there are some strategies for revision that can help make it a bit more manageable. 

The most important things to remember about revision are that revision is not the same as editing, neither revision nor editing should be a solo activity, and each pass at the paper improves the paper. It may not be "perfect" after revisions have been made, but it will be "better." 

But first things first, it's important to understand what's meant by revision. Revision often includes two different "mini-steps" in the writing process, both revision and editing. Whereas revision implies looking at the structural integrity of an essay, editing implies correcting errors at the sentence-level. 

Revision 

During revision, both self revision and peer revision, students look at the overall structure and content of an essay to make sure it has unity, coherence, and clearly articulated evidence that provides just the right amount of ethos and logos, and sometimes pathos, for the intended audience. There are several strategies for making the revision process effective and efficient.

Revision Hints and Tips for Students

• Read and revise multiple times, focusing on different aspects of the paper each time. 
• Take breaks between different aspects to clear your mind.
• Ask someone to read the paper aloud as you listen and make notes about anything that's unclear to your reader. 
• Discuss the paper with others both before and after peer revision to make sure you've cleared up any inconsistencies and carefully supported all your points.
• Outline your paper once it's finished to check its structure, and rearrange it as necessary.
• Make an appointment with a tutor if you aren't sure how to restructure or format your paper.

Editing

When editing, students look for and correct errors in grammar, punctuation, and mechanics. Those errors might be as innocuous as spelling "teh" instead of "the" or forgetting the hyphen in a compound word. On the other hand, these types of errors can be as serious as missing quotation marks to set apart a direct quotation.  That kind of error can result in unintentional plagiarism and a failing grade.

Editing Hints and Tips for Students

• Read and revise multiple times, looking for different types of mistakes each time.
• Reverse-reading, or reading the last sentence to the first, is especially helpful when looking for common errors, including sentence fragments, missing antecedents, or vague language. 
• Use your word processing program's built-in checkers, or apps like Grammarly and Hemmingway Writer, to help you locate potential mistakes. Use your best judgement when implementing suggestions.
• Check each piece of source content and each citation using a publication manual or the OWL Purdue Web site.
• Read aloud to listen for additional errors commonly made, like wordiness, subject-verb agreement errors, and errors with modifiers.
• Make an appointment with a tutor if you aren't sure how to edit your errors.

Revision and Editing Checklists

One way to divide revision and editing into manageable pieces is to use a checklist based on the paper's rhetorical situation and the main qualities of writing: unity, coherence, clarity, content, and formatting.

Purpose

• Is the purpose or mode and strategy of this essay easy to identify just by reading the introduction?
• Does the writer maintain one purpose or mode and strategy for the entire essay?

Focus

• Is this an appropriate narrowed topic for the required mode of this essay?
• Is the essay’s title and subtitle based on the thesis statement’s topic and tone?
• Does the title explain the specific focus of the essay?
• Is the thesis focused on one main idea?
• Can the thesis easily be found in either the introduction or conclusion of the essay?

Intended Audience

• Who is the intended audience?
• Is the intended audience easy to identify just by reading the introduction?
• Does this essay offer the intended reader a chance to think and learn?
• Is the writer’s voice, style, tone, and level of formality effective for the intended audience?

Unity

• Does the attention-getting material in the introduction appropriately lead-into the thesis?
• Does each paragraph have one clear topic sentence?
• Does each topic sentence stem from one main idea expressed in the thesis or essay map?
• Does the evidence in each paragraph directly support that paragraph’s topic sentence?
• Are there any shifts in the language or style that might distract or confuse the intended audience?
• Does the writer inadvertently stray from the thesis or shift their viewpoint at any point in the essay?
• Does the conclusion end the essay in a way that helps the reader remember the thesis statement?

Coherence

• Do the paragraphs in the essay flow smoothly from one to another?
• Are the paragraphs ordered logically and deliberately?
• Do the sentences in each paragraph flow smoothly from one to another?
• Is each new piece of evidence introduced and presented smoothly using transitional words and phrases?
• Has the writer used attribution to introduce the credentials of source content authors?

Clarity

• Has the writer avoided vague and ambiguous language, like “very” or “you?”
• Have you found any extraneous language or wordiness?
• Have you found any sentence fragments or run-on sentences?
• Have you found any subject-verb or pronoun agreement errors?
• Have you found any punctuation or capitalization errors?

Content

• Has the writer demonstrated an appropriate use of ethos?
• Has the writer demonstrated an appropriate use of pathos?
• Has the writer demonstrated an appropriate use of logos?
• Does this essay contain enough evidence to support each topic sentence?
• Has the student used expert or lay testimony and facts or statistics as evidence?
• Has the student used a narrative, description, or personal experience as evidence?
• Has the student provided real and hypothetical examples?
• Most importantly, are all claims supported by reasons and evidence?

Formatting

• Does this essay meet the word count and research requirements of the assignment?
• Is all source content cited both in-text and on the references page in MLA or APA format?
• Are this essay’s title page, running head, body, and citations in MLA or APA format?

 

Again, please remember that revision and editing are not the same processes and should be attempted separately, at different times, so that writers and reviewers can focus on specific error types without feeling overwhelmed. It's also important that students work with one another and with tutors, if necessary, to facilitate both revision and editing. Although many of the steps in the writing process are often an individual writer's responsibility, a paper will be in it's best form after others have helped a writer find and correct errors in unity, coherence, clarity, content, and formatting.

Want to read more about writing essays? Try

An Overview of the Writing Process

Prewriting the Research Essay: Starting with "I Think"

Myths about Writing Essays

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Contact the author for permission to republish.

En Plein Air, Watercolor, and Haiku

En Plein Air Watercolor Image
by Amy Lynn Hess

I have recently taken up watercolor painting, and although I've been painting with acrylics for over 20 years, I have found using watercolor challenging. 

With watercolor, I have to work quickly to capture movement, and the paint itself can sometimes define my lines for me, seemingly of its own will. Hues and values are created by working in layers, some layers and puddles or plops drying more quickly than others. The watercolor paper I have, unlike the stretched canvas I use for acrylic painting, warps into humps and bumps that create even more puddles and plops, and I've had to release my desire to rigidly control the paint. It simply goes where the water goes. 

Over the past few weeks, however, I've started to think about watercolor in a new way. I've started to think of this finicky paint as a tool for creating visual haiku, a way to quickly capture a moment, a bit of life, an observation of what's outside.

 

Although there are times when painting outdoors is simply untenable, there are definite benefits to trying it - benefits both artistic and philosophical, and maybe even literary.

 

En Plein Air, A View of What's Outside

The Wayne Art Center, sponsors of The Plein Air Festival in Wayne Pennsylvania, defines en plein air clearly and concisely: "En plein air is a French expression meaning 'in the open air', and refers to the act of painting outdoors with the artist's subject in full view." More than simply being outdoors while painting, another key element of plein air is to, to build upon this definition, directly view, observe, and therefore interpret what the artist is gazing upon with one's own eyes. 

Yet, unlike painting a still life, which is often prearranged and static, and unlike painting from another image or photograph, painting en plein air captures the movement of life, its winds and dancing shadows, passing clouds, and changing light. 

Direct Observation

The value in direct observation is related partially to, well, value, in addition to the other characteristics of color and the elements of composition. Instead of working from a photograph, which is already representational and may or may not be a result of an artist's own direct observation, working from life allows for authentic representation of a moment, an articulation of the painter's gaze in the moment. To summarize Ingrid Christensen, a gallery artist and popular workshop instructor, the human eye is simply better than a camera's lens in almost every way. Whereas depth perception, saturation, focus, contrast, and brightness are fixed for the camera, and a two-dimensional representation of one fixed moment is produced by photography, our eyes adapt to the variability of life. Our eyes create a direct link with life, with a fleeting moment. 

In the Open Air

When painting en plein air, or in the open air, the observations painters make are of the outdoor environments in which they find themselves. In a few minimal strokes of paint, in perhaps only a few moments, a painter captures a scene, its season, with as much detail as necessary to help viewers enter that moment with the painter.

In writing haiku, the principles are similar. 

Principles of Haiku

The best explanation of haiku I have been able to find comes from writer Mark Blasini. He breaks down the principles into singularity, accuracy, accessibility, economy, and brevity.  

As Blasini explains these five principles, some of his verbiage seemingly applies to both plein air in general and watercolor painting, specifically: "Focus on a moment that you feel you have to share with another person," he says of the principle of singularity. As for accuracy, make it as "realistic, clear, and depictive as possible," he says. Accessibility refers to building a scene the readers can imagine, and in haiku this includes the principle of kigo, or the illustration of the season. The principles of economy and brevity should also both sound familiar to anyone who practices watercolor painting. Haiku and watercolor both require minimal use of materials, a layering of translucence,  and an ability to work quickly. Whereas Blasini explains that writers "keep the haiku sayable in one breath," watercolor painters keep images workable in one sitting, perhaps workable in one layer of water, maybe even in one unit of wetness.

Puddle and plop though they may, my watercolor challenges (and mistakes) have become something much more meaningful as my paradigm has shifted. Watercolor, especially when en plein air, is visual haiku.

As with haiku, my watercolor paintings can now become a single, observed moment I want to share with others, with an intended audience. They can become a fleeting moment I want to capture with as much detail as possible in order to help that intended audience experience my impressions of that moment. I can stop overworking the paper and overthinking my gaze, and think only of keeping my images to "one breath."

I can also get a little sunshine and fresh air, weather permitting.

Want to read more about haiku? 

On Kaiseki and Haiku 

Want to see my supplies?

The BEST job I ever had was as a bookkeeper and merchandiser in an independently owned art supply store in Athens, Georgia. My favorite task was to put together supply kits for new artists and art classes. That said, I’ve made a list! Interested in seeing my grown-up watercolor shopping list? The blue text is an affiliate link to my Amazon Idea list for watercolor supplies. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Works Cited

Blasini, Mark. “The Five Principles.” The Way of Haiku, 9 Oct. 2013, thewayofhaiku.wordpress.com/the-five-principles/

Christensen, Ingrid. “Why You Should Draw from Real Life, Not a Photograph.” Artsy, 23 July 2019, www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-draw-real-life-photograph 

“What Is Plein Air?” Plein Air Festival, Wayne Art Center, www.waynepleinair.org/about/what-is-plein air/

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

The Mid-Pandemic Dramaturgy of Pandemic Performance

This year has ushered in changes to almost every facet of our lives, personal and professional. 

In an effort to protect our communities, we've responsibly distanced ourselves from them. Instead of attending church services in person, we've been watching broadcasts. Instead of attending professional conferences and meetings, we're participating in webinars and virtual meetings. Instead of attending school, we're doing our best to work from home. 

Instead of doing just about anything in person, we've turned to the internet in an effort to stay connected. 

From Stage to Screens

Yet, as difficult as it might be to worship, engage productively in meetings, or teach and remain motivated to learn online, many musicians and other live entertainers have had to reinvent their entire purpose. Gone are the days of playing in crowded, high energy, sometimes raucous venues. Fist-pumping dance clubs are closed up tight. Bars and restaurants have had to eliminate performance spaces to set up tables safe distances from one another. Musicians have turned to playing online, through YouTube, Facebook Live, Instagram, and Patreon, to name a few avenues. Some musicians have transitioned well; they are well-practiced and comfortable with mellow intimacy. Others, however, are having a hard time. Instead of playing in noisy, crowded spaces meant for high-octane socialization, many of those who used to play those venues are now being watched in high-definition with surround-sound in peoples' homes, with close-up views and pin-drop audio. 

It's the difference between stage and screen. What looks and sounds good on stage, from 50 to 100 feet away in a room full of laughter, service, and conversation, does not look and sound good on screen - whether that screen is in the palm of an audience member's hand or an 88-inch 8K. What's more, these musicians are having to compete with professionally produced and filmed productions, and they're having to make these adaptations quickly because their livelihoods depend on it. 

What are musicians up against? Patreon advertises they have over 200,000 creators on their site. As of the writing of this post, Socially Distant Fest has 175,400 members. That's just one of the many Facebook groups that's sprung up. There's a lot of chatter. Additionally, many local, early, or mid-career musicians are in direct competition with musicians "of means," with record deals and international renown. Whereas the latter can eek thousands of viewers in seconds and donate any and all donated proceeds to charity, the former are simply trying to pay their bills. They're hanging their comforters on the walls to make backdrops and using what they have at hand to try to appeal to fickle viewers who are likely to scroll on by in mere seconds if they don't stand out immediately. Cute kids seem to do well, as do quirky duos and pretty girls with ukuleles. Not that there's anything wrong with that; it takes courage and dedication to make a musical life pay the bills, and they should be lauded. But what about the 40-something rock-and-roll guy, the subtle singer/songwriter and folk singer, the jam band drummer, and the badass blues harmonica players? 

And Back to the Stage: Theatrical Elements

Aristotle suggested in The Poetics that all theatre performances need six unified elements in order to be successful: plot, character, thought, diction, melody, and spectacle. He was speaking specifically of Greek tragedy, but that's appropriate of pandemic performance, I believe.

How does someone make solo blues harmonica work in Dolby Surround-Sound? Do they ditch the comforter, give themselves and their space a hip makeover, and invest in audio and video equipment? Maybe. Maybe they learn to play the Theremin or a fire-belching saxophone, instead.

If someone does figure out how to make their music sound great in their space,  how do they get people to click on the video content? Maybe that requires a well-devised unity between their look and their sound? A little bit of narrative or story, an introduction or "get to know me" description. Or maybe they just need a gimmick, and another gimmick when that one gets old because all gimmicks get old - and yet gimmicks are spectacle, and spectacle works. 

After people click, how do the performers get them to stay? Do they take time between songs to chat with viewers, like an honored guest sitting with them around a virtual firepit or breaking bread (or pizza) on a Friday night? Because they are honored guests at this point, sometimes cast larger-than-life on television screens during dinner. Like in a Jane Austen adaptation, a musician may need to demonstrate the witty repartee of Mr. Knightly . . . but, Jane Austen was being ironic, so perhaps Dolly Parton is the better model? Or maybe it's just about character consistency or easy-to-identify archetypes these days, so no one has to take the time to figure things out.

If the viewers stay and continue watching, how do performers get a like or a share? Do they have to ask? If they figure out how to get a like or a share, how do they get that viewer to use the voluntary, virtual tip jar? Isn't it tacky to ask for money when you're an honored guest? Isn't it folly to ask your cousin or high school friends for money when you know they don't have any more than you do? So, how do you find and attract viewers who have the means to pay their troubadour, their honored guest? Should performances have themes? Should the set list demonstrate range and ability, an ability to perform in multiple genres? 

Questions without Answers

There are more questions than answers.

How many unpaid, online gigs is it going to take before these exceptionally talented musicians simply stop trying? They aren't producers, costumers, and set designers, and in order to learn how to use the latest and greatest apps, they're going to have to stop taking time to learn or create new material. Will they adapt? Some. Will they have the means to wait out the pandemic? Some. What will happen to the rest? Is this like the mythological first day of college when you're told to look to your right and to your left and assume both of those people won't be around in a few years? Maybe. We'll have to wait and see before we realize what we've lost.

Want to read more about dramaturgy and performance? Try

Production Dramaturgy: What's a Dramaturg Do?

Ancient Greek Theatre: Origins of the Term Deus Ex Machina

Medieval Era Morality Plays

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

Narrative Essay: Our "Finally" Peas

The peas are beautiful, fruitful, and healthy.

This afternoon I spent time watering my garden: the red cabbage seedlings, the lettuce, and the new cabbage seeds, carefully saved from last year’s cabbages. I carefully planted them in compost from our carefully crafted compost pile, and the squirrels have since scattered them carelessly while seeking soft, safe places to hide their acorns and pecans. Not knowing where the cabbage seeds ended up after the squirrels’ bacchanalia, I carefully watered the whole area.

Peas Present

Nothing in the garden looks great in mid-October, generally, but while I watered, I noticed the marigolds and peas were still marvelously perky and vibrantly colorful.

I watered the peas, cuddled the cat, photographed the peas, and subsequently drew the peas and the cat. This afternoon’s weather was beautiful. The peas were too beautiful to ignore. They reminded me of peas past.

Peas Past

I remember two specific attempts to grow peas, or more accurately my attempts to grow peas and my father's attempts, I suspect, to connect with me in some way. It was easy for him to connect with my sister because she liked sports, and it was fairly easy to connect with my stepbrother, his stepson, because he lived there with him. Dad really had to try with me, though. I was the reader, the artist, the animal lover, the quiet type.

The first time we tried to grow peas we used a plastic flower box and maybe some dirt from the yard, topsoil and clay. He got some seeds and we followed the directions on the packet for spacing and depth. We watered them, I am sure. Dad took us back to our mother's for two weeks, and he was in charge of the peas. When we came back the soil was gray, so dry it was cracked like a broken ceramic pot. There were no peas.

We tried again. “Peas are easy to grow,” maintains Lee Taylor and the home gardening experts at Michigan State University’s Extension Service. The second time we tried he cut a 50-gallon blue plastic barrel in half long ways, and we filled it with soil and planted our peas. We did not, as Lee Taylor and the home gardening experts at Michigan State University’s Extension Service recommend, use compost, add stakes, plant in cool weather, or add an inch of water a week. Again, two weeks or every-other-weekend later, the soil was bone dry and all the potential life in the seeds had dried up, as well.

We didn't try again, but I did bring him dwarf Japanese Maple seedlings from my yard the year before he died, and they, too, dried up. I found the carcasses on the picnic table on the patio still in the plastic pots that had only ever been meant for transport.

Realization

Jane Shellenberger, author of Organic Gardener's Companion: Growing Vegetables in the West, states “There are many paths leading to a garden and many experiences awaiting those who venture in. No matter what your motive—whether to grow healthy, delicious food; spend time outdoors feeling more alive than your desk job allows; help save the planet; find relaxation, solace, or healing; meet your neighbors; get your hands in the sweet earth; or discover for yourself just how abundant and generous nature can be—a garden rarely disappoints. It’s a magnet for life in all its quirky, beautiful forms.” Whatever our pea-planting purpose may have been, I did stop to think about my dad today and appreciate his efforts, efforts I have not stopped to appreciate before.

I haven't been able to talk to him in over a year except distantly, through tertiary conversation with my stepmother (whose tomatoes flourished magically this year, by the way). We haven't laughed about something the cats have done or reminisced about funny little things like peas so dried up the soil cracked open. I haven't been able to bring him new plants in pots meant only for transport. He hasn't been able to marvel at our long growing season down here or tell me how excited he is to go hunting up there. Maybe, though, he's  had something to do with the peas this year, these beautiful, fruitful, healthy, peas; our “finally” peas.

Want to read more narrative essays? Try

A Narrative Essay: Holding Hands

Pig: A Sample Narrative Essay

The Narrative Frame: Prewriting the Narrative Essay

Works Cited

Shellenberger, Jane. Organic Gardener's Companion: Growing Vegetables in the West. Fulcrum Publishing, 2012.

Taylor, Lee. “How to grow peas.” Smart Gardening, April 29, 2009, camr.msu.edu.

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

Make a Jar of Dill Pickles

As hobby gardeners, we don't often grow or harvest enough fruits and vegetables to store excess long term. Fruits like strawberries and blueberries are frozen to be used within a month or two, and vegetables like snow peas, peppers, green onions, okra, cucumbers, asparagus, tomatoes, and squash are eaten in season, within a week or two - or gifted to family and friends.  

On those rare occasions when we have a few more veggies than we can eat in salads or stir fries, I make quick pickles, often just one jar at a time. 

I most often pickle cucumbers, but we also enjoy pickled okra and pickled asparagus. This same ratio of salt, vinegar, and water can be used to make brine for any of those vegetables.

Ingredients for a Quart Jar of Pickles

• 1/4 C pickling salt
• 1 cup white vinegar
• 2 cups water
• 6 cloves garlic
• 6 sprigs dill

Quick Pickle-Making Supplies

Jar Lifters and Measuring Bowl

• 4 cup or larger glass measuring bowl with pour spout
• 1/4 cup measuring cup
• 1 quart jar and lid with ring
• Tall kettle (taller than your quart jar)
• Hot pads and oven mitts
• Knife

Optional Supplies

• Cutting board
• Canning jar lifter
• Tongs
• A second jar for excess brine or pickles

How to Make a Jar (or Two) of Pickles

Prepare, Pack, and Process

1. Sanitize your jars and lids. I boil mine in the same 12 quart kettle I'll use to process the pickles. Once they boil for 3 minutes, I remove them with my jar lifter and tongs, and I leave the hot water in the kettle on the stove.

Pack pickles and add brine, leaving 1/2" space.

2. While the jars are boiling, prepare the cucumbers, dill, and garlic by rinsing, trimming the ends, and removing the skin of the garlic.

3. Next, prepare the brine: I add 1/4 cup pickling salt, 2 cups water, and 1 cup white vinegar to the 4 cup measuring bowl. I also add my garlic and dill to the brine. I boil the brine for 5 minutes and return it to the measuring cup. The brine can also be boiled in the microwave.

4. Once the jars are ready, pack the pickles into the jar(s), leaving 1/2 - 1 inch of space at the top. Because I always have a little extra brine, I can sometimes make a jar of sliced pickles or baby dills, too!  I add 4 sprigs of the boiled dill and 4 garlic cloves to the large jar, and I add 2 each to the small jar. 

5. Once the jars are full, loosely add the lids and rings.  

Loosen lids and boil for 10 - 15 minutes.

6. Place the jar(s) right-side up  into the tall kettle and add more water as necessary. Bring to a boil and process 10 - 15 minutes. 

7. Remove the jars using the jar lifter (or hot pads), let them cool, and seal them tightly. 

Remember that these instructions are not for pickles that will be stored long-term, so there's no sealing wax or rubber rings used. These are to be used within a month or two.

Additionally, always follow all food safety and supply-specific instructions and recommendations for a healthy, happy, pickle-making experience.

Want to read more recipes and how-to's? Try

Small Batch Microwave Peanut Brittle

Mizeria: A Dairy-free Cucumber Salad

Cheesy Kale Salad with Blueberries and Almonds

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

Three Ways to "Un-Altoids" a Tin: Hammering, Decoupage, and Polymer Clay

Altered Altoids Tins

Removing "Altoids" from an Altoids Tin

When altering an Altoids tin, makers generally begin by thinking about the inside, what the tin will hold, or its new purpose. Once its purpose is determined, however, the maker should also consider the outside of the tin; specifically, how the outside will give hints about that purpose or have some meaningful connection to its inside. Because the inside assuredly will no longer hold Altoids mints, most makers do not want to see "Altoids" on the lid or ingredients and nutritional information on the bottom unless it's part of a meaningful artistic juxtaposition, a clever camouflage, or when the inside is meant to be hidden or a surprise.

Remove the paint easily with flame and steel wool.

Removing the Exterior Paint and Labeling

The first step in removing "Altoids" is to remove the paint and labeling. For each of these examples, I removed the paint by setting the tins in hot coals in the fire pit for about 20 minutes, removing them with tongs, letting them cool, and scrubbing them with steel wool.

Polymer Clay, Hand-Hammering, and Decoupage Covered Tins

Covering a Tin with Polymer Clay

If a maker has polymer clay on hand, covering the tin is fairly simple and makes little to no mess. The polymer clay is rolled to 1/8" thickness and rolled onto the lid and its edges. This thickness completely hides the embossed "Altoids" lid.

Excess polymer clay can be cut away with a razor-blade before hardening in the oven, and it can be sanded after hardening and cooling. Some polymer clays will take paint or stain.

Additionally, as long as the maker carefully trims around the hinges, the tin will still open and close when the process is completed. The tin in the image will be used for seed storage, as the lid now clearly indicates, so it's important that it opens.

Hand-Hammered Altoids Tin

Another straightforward method for removing the embossed "Altoids" name from the lid of the tin is for the maker to hammer it out using a ball peen hammer. Either a 4 oz or an 8 oz hammer will do, as long as the peen is well-rounded. A peen with an edge or point will work, but it's much more difficult to make sure the tin isn't damaged.

The maker should remove the lid of the tin, and place newspaper or rags underneath it before hammering. Working on the center, first, then working to the edges will create a rounded lid. It takes several strikes to hammer out the lid, but occasionally placing the lid back onto the tin will ensure it doesn't get hammered out of shape. 

The tin in the image was painted with a metallic copper paint and lightly distressed after hammering. "Altoids" is still slightly visible, but the obviously distressed aesthetic allows for it. 

Decoupage Altoids Tin

Lastly, Altoids tins can be covered using decoupage. This is by far the messiest option and requires more supplies than either the polymer clay or hand-hammering methods. This method also requires an artistic eye. 

When done well, decoupage covers the lid entirely and helps establish a mood or style for whatever appears on the inside of the tin. Paper, cloth, leaves, and other thin ephemera make excellent coverings. 

In this case, a glossy dimensional resin was used over black cotton cloth and household findings. The tin will be used as a antiqued, small memorial shrine, so the items are quite personalized.

Using polymer clay, hand-hammering, or using decoupage techniques are all methods for hiding or removing the Altoids label from the lid of a tin before reusing. Each method has its pros and cons, from level of mess to level of coverage, but each also allows for the tin to become a very personal expression. Each method allows for the creation of a meaningful aesthetic.

Want to read more about Arts and Crafts? Try

Punch Needle Embroidery Supplies for Beginners
Point of View and Emotion
Crochet Christmas Tree Ornaments



Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

Identifying the Rhetorical Situation and Rhetorical Appeals

After Lysippos  from the Ludovisi Collection
Jastrow 2006 / Public domain

If you're currently in a composition or rhetoric course, you may be learning about the rhetorical situation or rhetorical appeals first identified and explained by Aristotle. 

There are five elements of the rhetorical situation, according to Aristotle: pathos, logos, ethos, telos, and kairos. All together, these relate to the audience's characteristics and sensibilities, the logic and structure of the work, the credibility of the author and content, the purpose or mode of the work, and the time and place of its presentation.

Writers use these elements in their attempts to convince or persuade readers to do something or believe something. These elements are like tools in a carpenter's toolbox: Just like a carpenter uses a hammer to drive in a nail, a writer might use one or more of the five elements to make a convincing argument.

Kairos and Telos

Although the elements of kairos and telos are not often taught by name, they are still used today. For example, the writer may wait for the opportune moment (kairos), time and place, to write a particular essay or make a particular argument  based on what's happening in the world. The writer may use a particular mode - narrative, descriptive, persuasive, or expository -  to present their main ideas in the most convincing way for a particular audience (telos).

Appeals to Ethos, Pathos, and  Logos

A writer might also use one of the three appeals most commonly taught today: ethos, logos, or pathos. The writer may emphasize their own credibility or the credibility of those from whom they borrow content (ethos).  The writer may persuade by providing facts and statistics, logic and reason, in an effective structural format, thereby appealing to the readers' sense of logic (logos). Lastly, the writer might convince the readers by telling a story that elicits a particular emotion in that particular intended audience, thereby appealing to their emotions (pathos).

Pathos

When writers purposefully appeal to readers' emotions or sensibilities, we call it an appeal to pathos. The effectiveness of the appeal is partially determined by the characteristics of the intended audience.

Here are some examples of the use of pathos. Notice that the different examples are specifically meant to elicit specific emotions in a particular type of person. Think about whether or not these particular appeals to pathos would work on you or someone very like you, your friends, or specific members of your family.

• Eagerness: Buying this red Corvette will make you the most popular and enviable man on the road.
• Fear: Clean up the riverbank this Saturday or risk losing access to it forever. 
• Pity: The homeless need your donations, and if you don't help, no one will. 
• Guilt: Your grandparents won't be around much longer, so you better come home to visit this summer.
• Relief: With this widget, you'll never forget a deadline.

Also notice that pathos is generally not found in academic or scholarly writing. With the exception of the use of description or narration in lead-ins or conclusions of essays, the use of pathos is generally frowned upon. On the other hand, appeals to logos and ethos are encouraged.

Logos and  Ethos

Logos

When writers use sound logic and reason, verifiable facts and ethically-gathered statistics to prove a point, they are well on their way to appealing to logos. However, writers must also clarify their content by using enough of the best kind of evidence, and they must apply the principles of unity and coherence to their writing. Only when a writer has checked their work for clear thesis statements and topic sentences and an effective order and flow have they truly appealed to readers' sense of logic.

Ethos

When writers emphasize their own credibility, or the credibility of the source content they incorporate into their writing, they are appealing to ethos. They might use personal observation or testimony to try to prove a point. They may incorporate facts and statistics from reputable sources.

Take a look at the following examples of appeals to logos and ethos.

• Ethos: As someone who's been a hairdresser for over 30 years, I can tell you that the classic French bob is always in style. 
• Ethos and Logos: As someone who's been a hairdresser for over 30 years, I can tell you that the classic French bob is always in style. Seventy percent of the cuts requested by clients are the classic French bob or a very similar style. 
• Logos: "Cigarette smoking is responsible for more than 480,000 deaths per year in the United States, including more than 41,000 deaths resulting from secondhand smoke exposure. This is about one in five deaths annually, or 1,300 deaths every day. On average, smokers die 10 years earlier than nonsmokers."
• Ethos and Logos: According to a fact sheet published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2018, "Cigarette smoking is responsible for more than 480,000 deaths per year in the United States, including more than 41,000 deaths resulting from secondhand smoke exposure. This is about one in five deaths annually, or 1,300 deaths every day. On average, smokers die 10 years earlier than nonsmokers."
• Logos: The lack of consistent forensic evidence leads us to believe the defendant did not commit the crime.
• Logos and Ethos: The lack of consistent forensic evidence presented by the coroner, the forensic expert, and the police chief leads us to believe the defendant did not commit the crime.

The difference between the use of logos and the use of both ethos and logos is that the use of ethos includes a bit of bragging about the writer's or source's credibility or authority. 

Whether you're a writer looking to use the rhetorical situation to effectively communicate with an  audience, or you are looking to better identify the use of rhetoric by others, gaining an understanding of kairos, telos, ethos, logos, and pathos will be of benefit.

Want to read more about Writing and Argumentation? Try

Syllogisms as Structure
What's a Research Narrative?
Adding Coherence to an Essay

Works Cited

Smoking and Tobacco Use. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2018,  https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/fast_facts/index.htm. Accessed February 18, 2020.


Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

Divergent Thinking and The Power of "What If?"

How many uses can you think of for a paperclip? 
What if that paperclip were 50 feet long and made of foam rubber?

Divergent Thinking

Divergent thinking is a skill related to creativity, and whether folks realize it or not, they often use this skill; or they “use it or lose it,” as the case may be. One very famous study, for example, asked that kindergarten students think divergently about uses for a paperclip. 

The findings of that study?

Our capacity for divergent thinking deteriorates with age. A longitudinal study of kindergarten children measured 98% of them at genius level in divergent thinking. Five years later, when they were aged 8 to 10 years, those at genius level had dropped to 50%. (Abbasi)

People use divergent thinking when they think up “novel ideas,” sometimes based on ideas that already exist (“Divergent Thinking”). A cook might change up an old recipe, for example, or a fashionista might incorporate a new item into a current wardrobe. A student might fix his glasses with a paperclip if they break during class. There are many ways to exercise creativity and an ability to think divergently.

The Bucket List

An exercise similar to the paperclip experiment is listed in Ed Bell’s book, The 30-Day Creativity Challenge. In an exercise he calls “The Bucket List,” he asks readers to take ten minutes to list all the uses they can imagine for a bucket (2). Even better, he reiterates the definition and importance of divergent thinking: “Creativity is about taking existing concepts and ideas and doing something new with them” (2).

Playing "What If?"

One commonality between the paperclip experiment and Bell’s “The Bucket List” exercise is that the practitioner asks the student or reader to work alone. However, what if after the lists are created as a solo activity, people then work together to share experiences and expand their understanding of the problem? In this version of brainstorming, the groups or teams might discuss how they envisioned the bucket as they created their original lists, what it was made of, how big it was, how much water it held, or its condition. It’s very likely that each person’s imagined bucket is slightly different: Some might be plastic beach buckets, and some might be feed buckets, and others might be galvanized garden buckets, while others still might be wooden pails.

To expand the experience even further, the groups or teams can be asked to think of new “What if” scenarios for their buckets and generate more ideas for uses of those buckets:

·         What if the bucket was cut in half? Cut in half the other way?

·         What if the bucket held 1000 gallons of water?

·         What if the bucket was made of bread?

·         What if there was a hole in the bucket? How big is the hole?

The “What If” exercise can be an excellent starting point for discussion about the abstract nature of language (as students realize their idea of bucket is based on their own experiences, not inherently linked to the word “bucket”). The exercise can also be used to demonstrate the power of brainstorming within groups, or be used to point out the different types of energy required to work either alone or together. Furthermore, it’s an effective way to practice divergent thinking, and if people don’t use that skill, they will lose it.

Works Cited

Abbasi, Kamran. “A Riot of Divergent Thinking.” Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, vol. 104, no. 10, Oct. 2011, pp. 391–391, doi:10.1258/jrsm.2011.11k038.

Bell, Ed. The 30-Day Creativity Challenge. The Song Foundry, Inc., 2019.

"Divergent thinking." Palgrave Key Concepts: Key Concepts in Innovation, Hamsa Thota, and Zunaira Munir, Macmillan Publishers Ltd, 1st edition, 2011. Credo Reference. Accessed 09 Jan. 2020.

Want to read more? Try

Stages in the Development of Critical Thinking

How to Write Writing Assignments

Teaching Less and Learning More

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.

Syllogism as Structure in Essays and Speeches: Providing Clarity

The syllogism makes a great organizational strategy when writing
argumentative essays and speeches.

The form of a syllogism, a major premise followed by a minor premise and a conclusion, makes an excellent structural framework for short essays and speeches.

When using the syllogism as a structural framework, in addition to using a valid form, each of the premises must be true in order for the argument to be sound. 

In paragraph form, a writer has an opportunity to prove each premise is true using a variety of rhetorical strategies. In general, people should use the principle of charity and give the writer or speaker the benefit of the doubt when a premise or conclusion is stated in an unclear way. However, in some cases it’s extra important to clarify a statement. For example, vagueness, ambiguity, and refutability are three types of errors that require additional clarity, in the form of evidence or revision, in order to convince or persuade a reader that a premise is indeed true and the argument is sound. 

Vagueness and Ambiguity

When writing an essay, a writer has only one chance to make himself or herself clear to the reader.  That means the writer has to watch out for the pitfalls of vagueness and ambiguity in each and every sentence.

Examples of Vague Language

Some examples of vague language include words like “some,” "good," “very,” “soon,” and even “etcetera” or “that sort of thing.” Even the use of "you" and other second person pronouns can be vague in writing unless the writer is addressing only one specific person, like in a letter or email. Vague language is imprecise and makes it difficult for a reader to understand a writer's ideas.

Think about the following sentence: “Some people will be here soon for the thing.” This sentence is extremely vague. It could mean that 150 guests will be arriving for the wedding in twenty minutes, or it could mean that two movers are arriving in six hours to pick up a piano, or it could mean a delegation of ten faculty members from China are arriving in a month for a conference.

In order to eliminate vagueness and better persuade readers that an argument is sound, be sure to avoid vague language and use terminology that helps specify and clarify a premise. If necessary, include definitions in order to make a point as clearly as possible.

Examples of Ambiguous Language

Ambiguity can be caused by poor grammatical construction, oftentimes in the use of antecedents and pronouns or because of misplaced or dangling modifiers.

Think about the following sentence: “The assistant took the cats out of the carriers and placed them on the floor.” Because of the construction of that sentence, the reader may be unsure about what’s being placed on the floor: the cats, the carriers, or the cats and the carriers. Although it may seem unimportant within the context of reading this blog post, it would be imperative that an attorney ask for clarification if this information were part of a murder trial.

Misplaced and dangling modifiers can also cause confusion. Think about this sentence: “After biting the woman, the police officer took the dog to the shelter.” This sentence needs revision because it reads as though the police officer bit the woman. The officer certainly may have bitten the woman, but because it’s not a common occurrence, the point should be clarified.

In order to eliminate ambiguity in writing, check all pronouns to be sure the antecedents are clearly identifiable, and reword sentences that may contain ambiguous antecedents or modifiers that do not modify the words they are supposed to modify. Unclear premises within a syllogism are not entirely true and leave room for refutation.

Refutability

The “Syllogism and Enthymeme” page of the AP Language and Literature course Web site offers an excellent explanation of refutability in the context of the syllogism. The writers offer a definition of “syllogism” and follow it with an example that uses an irrefutable generalization as the major premise. 

Syllogism – Logical reasoning from inarguable premises; the conclusion is unarguable if the syllogism is structured correctly.

Example: Socrates is human, so he is mortal.

·         Major Premise: All humans are mortal (irrefutable generalization)

·         Minor Premise: Socrates is a human

·         Conclusion: Therefore, Socrates is mortal

The writers go on to define “enthymeme” and offer an example of a syllogism that leaves room for refutation within the major premise. In this example, the premise makes the reader wonder what is meant by “strong.” The goal when writing an essay or speech with a refutable premise is to anticipate the opposition's refutation and offer evidence to prove your point.

Enthymeme – Logical reasoning with one premise left unstated; instead of having irrefutable general truth for major premise, it is an assumption, statement, or proposition that the writer presumes and the audience accepts.

Example: Because John is a man, he is strong.

·         Major Premise: Men are strong (refutable, begs the question)

·         Minor Premise: John is a man.

·         Conclusion: Therefore, John is strong.

The responsibility of a writer, especially when arguing for an enthymeme or using a refutable premise, is to be sure to find evidence that convinces or persuades the audience to accept the premises and each subsequent conclusion. It may take a few sentences or even a full paragraph, for example, to prove that “Men are strong.” It may require that a writer define the words “men” and “strong” in context of the argument. The writer may have to provide not only definitions, but examples and descriptions or even narratives that help readers understand what is meant by “Men are strong.”

The goal is clarity.

When a writer uses the syllogism form to construct an essay or speech, that writer must carefully consider each and every statement to be sure each premise is true, each word used is the most specific word, and any refutable statements are proven with strong evidence.

Works Cited

“Syllogism and Enthymeme.” AP Language and Literature,

https://sites.google.com/site/wissahickonaplang/rhetoric/enthymeme-syllogism. Accessed 7 Jan. 2020.

Want to read more about critical thinking and writing? Try

How to Organize and Outline an Argumentative Speech or Essay

Writing an Argumentative Essay: Basic Terminology

Grading the Argumentative Essay

Copyright Amy Lynn Hess. Please contact the author for permission to republish.